The Most Amazingly Terrible Sports Team Songs

Today's dynastic Patriots, with five championships and the tough-as-nails Bill Belichick leading the charge, wouldn't be caught dead on a list like this. The 1985 Pats, on the other hand, definitely did, with "New England, The Patriots, and We," a direct response to the Bears' "Super Bowl Shuffle" that you won't catch Belichick humming on his worst day. Gronk might, though.

The video for the grammar-hostile "New England, The Patriots, and We" starts with a Boston newscaster holding a gun to a stuffed bear's head, which he probably couldn't get away with today. We then get the actual song, performed mainly by what appear to be actual singers. This actually makes its lukewarm '80s badness even worse because at least when players sing terribly, you can excuse it because they're athletes. When your job is to sing and you can't do it, something's wrong.

Local TV and news personalities join in halfway through, as do hordes of lip-syncing Bostonians. This does add a nice community feel to the song, though it doesn't make the experience any less cheesy. Plus, a huge chunk of the lyrics are just "New England, the Patriots and We," followed by something rhyming with "we." Sample lines include, "We'll hang the bear from the Liberty Tree" and "We'll beat the Bears 100-3." Thank goodness they didn't, if only so this awful song wasn't right.

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